IML: Junkyard Horror Stories

[Tony Lindsey <papatony@xxxxxxx>]

The front swivels on my '61 Crown came from a '61 LeBaron in the local 
junkyard. The seats had been re-upholstered with the cheapest white 
vinyl you could imagine.  The rats must have found it to be tasty, 
though - There are quarter-size chew-holes all around the perimeter.

Nearly everything else had been stripped from the LeBaron, but because 
the car had two OTHER cars jammed right against it on both sides, 
nobody had successfully removed the seats. I had to climb through a 
side window to get in, pop out the windshield using my two bare feet 
(the best way to do it after removing the outer trim and rubber), crawl 
under the car after jacking it up, remove the lower bolts, and then 
rassle the entire, heavy seat structure out through the windshield 
opening. Then, I dragged it 400 or so feet to the front gate where the 
cashier was.  Nobody would help me, and those things are HEAVY!

I was really tired, and I was able to snag the Flitesweep decklid as 
well (it lacked all of the shiny stuff - all I got was the decklid). I 
paid for everything, and then man-handled the parts into my motor-home. 
 Unfortunately, I forgot to load the trunklid, which was leaning on a 
chain-link fence.  About seven minutes later, I was on the freeway and 
suddenly remembered the trunklid.  I frantically tried to call the 
junkyard from my phone, but they weren't answering.  When I got there, 
my trunklid was gone.  I raced around trying to find out what had 
happened to it.

One of the yard-staff had seen it, thrown it on top of a car, and then 
used a forklift to toss ANOTHER car on top of it.  It was mashed flat. 
I freaked out!  I complained, and the bored young woman said "Just go 
and get another one!" I demanded a refund and was told "We NEVER give 
refunds", but they made an exception for me.

As I said in an earlier message, the local San Diego County yards are 
all owned by one family that refuses to sell cars once they end up in 
the yard.  They ALL get crushed. I saw glorious Imperials of all kinds 
get stripped by ignorant fools using nothing but pliers and a 
screwdriver, and then would see the side-windows bashed through from 
one side as the forklift arrived to take the formerly-pristine cars 
away. I saw a 1950 Imperial Crown Limousine with the brushed-nickel 
trim, stripped by junkyard-rats who liked shiny things, before IT was 
crushed. Luckily, I alerted a few buddies in Southern California with 
early '50's limos so they could get the disc brakes and stuff.

The WORST thing was the "BEEZELS".  I don't know what their real names 
were, but they were an elderly couple that earned the name, which was a 
cross between "Bitches" and "Weasels".  Man, were they awful. They 
practically lived in the yards, and as soon as any Imperial (of any 
year or model) would arrive, they'd strip it bare.  If anybody would 
dare to approach an Imperial that they were stripping, they'd yell and 
threaten the intruders to try and drive them away. This never worked 
with me.  I'd tell 'em "Next time, I suggest that you PEE on the car to 
mark it as your territory!" Then, I'd just ignore them and get to work.

These hostile creeps didn't sell any of the parts, and they had no 
interest in doing so.  They just WANTED them.  Nobody could talk them 
into selling anything.  Their home must have been a serious eyesore. 
They're probably dead by now - I hope that all of those parts aren't 
landfill as a result.



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