[FORWARDLOOK] Humor

[ron <ron@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

"For Sale" terminology aids

If the ad claims                   it really means

Rough condition                 too bad to lie about
Parts car                             beyond repair
Immaculate                        recently washed
Concours                          recently waxed
Engine quiet                     uses 90-weight oil..
Needs minor overhaul      needs engine
Needs major overhaul      Phone the junkyard
Burns no oil                      (it all leaks out)
Rebuilt engine                   Cleaned the spark plugs
Drive it away                     I live on a hill
Drive it anywhere              (within 10 miles)
Desirable classic               No one wants it
Rare classic..                        No one wanted it ,
                                             even when it was new
Stored 20 years                 (in a farmers field)
Ran when stored               Won`t start
Never apart                       Bolts too rounded to loosen..
Solid as a rock                  Rusted solid..
Restored with 0 miles      Won`t start..
Restored with 2 miles      Won`t stay running..
Older restoration              First owner washed it
Good investment              Can`t be worth much less
No time to restore it         Can`t obtain parts
95% complete                  Other 5% doesn`t exist
Other interests conflict     Spouse`s ultimatum:  "Either that
                                             #!!@&##*!!! Thing goes or I
go!"



                    "A little humor never hirts!!!"
                                                      Mark