Hi Brad!.........soooooooooooo true!...there are really great! and they are
sort of like 'car guy' amendments to the ever remembered "Murphy's Law's".
Thanks for giving me a smile today!!
Dan Melnik
> Those of us who do our own mechanical repairs will be able to identify with
> a number of these.
>
> Tools
> HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used
> as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object
> we are trying to hit.
>
> MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard
> cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes
> containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
>
> ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their
> holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling
> mounting holes in mudguards just above the brake line that goes to the rear
> wheel.
>
> PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
>
> MOLE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they
> can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
>
> OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable
> objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a
> brake drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.
>
> WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
> motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2
> socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes.
>
> DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal
> bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings
> your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part
> you were drying.
>
> WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under
> the workbench at the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and
> hard-earned guitar callouses in about the time it takes you to say,
> "Ouc...."
>
> SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for
> spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
>
> E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is
> ten times harder than any known drill bit.
>
> TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.
>
> BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulphuric acid
> from a battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your
> battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.
>
> PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
> paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as
> the name implies, to round out Phillips screw recesses.
>
> AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power
> plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by
> hose to a Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 60
> years ago by someone in Coventry, and rounds them off.
>
> HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
>
>
>
>
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