The hammer is also a rock hound lover's dream. When
you hit your thumb it creates an agate. A beautiful
red white and blue stone with great agony.
RC Billings, Montanaaaa
--- Brad Hogg <roadhogg@xxxxxxx> wrote: > Those of us
who do our own mechanical repairs will
> be able to identify with
> a number of these.
>
> Tools
> HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the
> hammer nowadays is used
> as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts
> not far from the object
> we are trying to hit.
>
> MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the
> contents of cardboard
> cartons delivered to your front door; works
> particularly well on boxes
> containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
>
> ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning
> steel Pop rivets in their
> holes until you die of old age, but it also works
> great for drilling
> mounting holes in mudguards just above the brake
> line that goes to the rear
> wheel.
>
> PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
>
> MOLE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing
> else is available, they
> can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to
> the palm of your hand.
>
> OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for
> lighting various flammable
> objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for
> igniting the grease inside a
> brake drum you're trying to get the bearing race out
> of.
>
> WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older
> British cars and
> motorcycles, they are now used mainly for
> impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2
> socket you've been searching for for the last 15
> minutes.
>
> DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for
> suddenly snatching flat metal
> bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in
> the chest and flings
> your beer across the room, splattering it against
> that freshly painted part
> you were drying.
>
> WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then
> throws them somewhere under
> the workbench at the speed of light. Also removes
> fingerprint whorls and
> hard-earned guitar callouses in about the time it
> takes you to say,
> "Ouc...."
>
> SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a
> sandwich tool for
> spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting
> dog-doo off your boot.
>
> E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps
> off in bolt holes and is
> ten times harder than any known drill bit.
>
> TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for
> illuminating grease buildup.
>
> BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for
> transferring sulphuric acid
> from a battery to the inside of your toolbox after
> determining that your
> battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.
>
> PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids
> of old-style
> paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt;
> can also be used, as
> the name implies, to round out Phillips screw
> recesses.
>
> AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced
> in a coal-burning power
> plant 200 miles away and transforms it into
> compressed air that travels by
> hose to a Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty
> bolts last tightened 60
> years ago by someone in Coventry, and rounds them
> off.
>
> HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too
> short.
>
>
>
>
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