happy wife syndrome

[Don Dulmage <big-d@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

I ran onto one of the reasons why we get in trouble occasionally. Beside being a car nut i also like music and hack around on a guitar and violins . I make my own fiddles for fun. When giving a demo at a seniors or retiries group i ran into a lady who picked up one of my homemade fiddles ad i could tell a soon as she handled it she was a player and not a novice either. I asked if she had  a violin to play. she said no. I knew her before this and her husband is into cars. he has a real nice t-bird and a 1917 Model t touring. . She told him se wanted to get a violin later that day and he said , what the heck would you want that for?  Then she found one atthe distressed frieght comapny  for $49 but he refused to let her have. Now  if she hates his cars i didnt feel a bit sorry for him. He has disrespected her interests and talents and deserves whatever he gets. Wives are totally unimpressed by how much stuff is worth BTW so making a list and writing down the figures is only going to give you a headache. They dont particularily enjoy car shows and drags and cruise nights either but come along because they want to do something together with you. so when they want to go shoppping and you refuse to go, dont expect a warm feeling from her when you want her to come to a car thing with you. They married you so they could send time with you. Money , chrome valve cover , first hemi ever built or one of 1 means to them absolutely nothing, in fact  it annoys them when you try and con them into the fact that you do this because it is a good investment and profitable. They dont really care . Some will go along , some will occasionally but dont try to make your hobby and interests theirs. instead make sure they get to do and see and go where they want to as well. If you dont and your woman gets exasperated by your car stuff. it is hard in anyway to feel sorry for you. I know there are some women who are into cars. Cindy on this list is one i know myself and always has something interesting to drive but most of our woman are not really if truth be known that interested. . When we tell them how rare something is or how valuable it is or how bad we want it  they are tempted to quote that line from the gone with the Wind movie (Frankly Scarlet i dont give a da...m) To think otherwise is foolishness.  Have all the car stuff you want but dont restict your womans interests either. . Now Dennis from our list has a real god one one women and men. I think he would send it to whoever wants it. i sure liked it. 

The Weather is better hear now and the insurance thing came for the 63. got to get a  new appraisal. i hate that but have no choice. Ducked it last year so I wont escape this year. 
Don
 My wife said I should tell you all how we repaired it in our marriage many years ago, 30+
I had a 426 Hemi at the time. and was centred on making it good to the exclusions of all other things so it seemed to her 
 One day in a bit of anger she said to me "how is it that if the hemi needs somehing you have to get it but if i need something it never comes. Stunned  I said why? what would you want?  "Well some descent cupboards for starters" she replied. We were in our second house at the time and it was not fancy to say the least. " You want cupboards? I said. "git in the car". The home show was on and so i drove right there and went to the cupboard display. .? What wood do you like? I said. She showed me a dark oak set. , What hardware? I asked  She picked stuff so nice i swallwed hard. By now the salesman was there , How big is your kitchen. She already knew and told him exactly. He drew a plan and aked a few questions.  "How much ?" I asked. He told me (i think then it was 1965.00 dollars (1971, you could add a zero now i think))" When can you put them in?" i asked. "They will be installed in the next 45 day"s "he said. "Ok"  I said and signed on te line. On the way home she asked me, " how will we pay for them?" "We'll manage" i said because i had no intention of spending the rest of our days in trouble. And we did manage too. In fact it was no problem. and the friction disappeared. I said DISAPPEARED fellows. I thought about it long and hard and finally realized I am not the only one on this planet or in this house . Her intersts are not mine and mine are not hers but if her interests are satisified she will not give me any flack about mine and so some 37 years later that is how it is. I make sure she gets to do and see what she wants and will go with her when practical. or when she asks and she makes sure my interests are fed as well.  This works. If you should kid yourself thinking that she is really interested in this car thing too, she just needs encouregment you are lying to the guy you see every morning in the mirror when you shave. 
Thus endeth the sermon for the day i will go back in the garage now and try and behave. (right after i fix the dimmer switch knobs for her inthe living room. )
Don     
Author of
Return to Deutschland (True Adventure)
Old Reliable (Mopar)
http://altonapublicschool.faithweb.com/

http://seniordragster.bravehost.com/index.html
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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