IML: How to ruin your day, hurt your Imperial, and other Bad Things by Jason

[Jason Wulf <jrwulf@xxxxxxxxx>]

--Bad Things Volume XI.  How to hurt your Imperial, and not feel so
bad later.  (Also available on Audiocasette)



Well, it finally happened...

Part of the problem with daily drivers is that you drive them daily. 
And, with all things extrordinarily dangerous, like driving, you're
bound one time or two to screw up.

The other day finally turned out to be my moment to do just that, and
I hurt my car in the process.

Driving through some wet/muddy/who knows what pavement after a rain, i
was pulling up behind someone at a stoplight, nothing out of the
ordinary, and before i could even think to go "?!!!" i remember
hearing the "schhhhh!" of tires sliding across asphalt, and i had hit
her.

In front of me was a newish Kia, who ended up with some scratched
paint on the bumper.  I, on the other hand, ended up needing a new
front header, bumper, and hood.

--There is no justice, sometimes.  Isn't one of the reasons we drive
Imperials to be the indestructible tanks on the road?

When I locked the tires up, apparently the front of my car bucked
down, because the grille above the bumper was really what hit her,
causing a fair bit of damage to my car!  My bumper had gone under
hers, bending the brackets just slightly, which has forced my bumper
down at an angle.  In addition, the grille was shattered (literally! 
There were enough small pieces I almost needed a Dustbuster...), the
fiberglass header was cracked and broken, and this whole assembly was
pushed just back far enough to bow the hood up at a crumple zone.

--This all from an approximate 5MPH collision.  I'm not entirely sure
of my exact speed, as i was pulling up behind her at a stoplight.

But that was just the beginning!  After calling insurance companies,
getting everything squared away, I went on with life and said "time to
fix it!"

I went to a reputable body shop in Vancouver, one that's actually
fixed our cars in the past, and was promptly given a quote for...

THREE THOUSAND, EIGHT HUNDRED DOLLARS.

Oh yes folks, i was told that the damage...the broken fiberglass
header, hood, and various little plastic bits were going to cost me
$3800 dollars.  The main money makers (for them) were the $800 dollar
fiberglass piece, a $600 hood, and an $800 dollar bumper!  There were
some miscellaneous small pices included in, and then there was that
GIGANTIC labor fee...

Armed with this in mind, i went to Foster Auto Parts (For those that
know the area, it used to be U-Pull-It, then when bought by FAP it
became a we-pull-it-while-you-watch-and-pay-us-more kind of
junkyard.).  They had a '93 imperial, blue, and it had all the parts I
needed.  $650 for everything?  Well, I'll just be back on payday...my
insurance deductable is $500 anyway, and I knew that I wouldn't be
paying $650 for those parts....


This, then, brings us to today.  Unlike recently, today was a Very
Good Day.  Armed with only my wits, and $350 dollars in cash in my
wallet, I went back to FAP.  I went out to the car with what I assume
was a manager, threw some numbers around for brand new parts the right
color I had found online, and got the loaded header, bumper assembly,
and hood for that aforementioned $350.  It also helps to pull the poor
college student card out of your wallet once in awhile...

I just finished stripping the header panel apart down to the last nut,
bolt, and headlight door, and so the prepwork will begin tomorrow
night on all of these pieces to get painted white (it just can't do to
put a blue header on a white car...this is an /Imperial!/) and
hopefully everything will be completed in time for Rhody Days!

I think the biggest challenge now will be settling down my insurance
company enough so that they'll let me start taking apart my car!

I do have some pictures of the car if you would all like, I can find a
place online to stick them up and then post a link.  Let me know!


-Jason Wulf
'90 Imperial (Charlie)


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