Fwd: Stuff you need to think about...

[Bob Faunce <bobsbelvedere@xxxxxxxxx>]

For our senior members



 

 

 

• The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.
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• When a kid says “Daddy, I want mommy” that’s the kid version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”

 

• I don’t mean to interrupt people but I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
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• I’m at that delusional age where I think everyone my age looks way older than I do.

 

• Do you ever wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and think, “That can’t be accurate!”
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• I see people out there zip lining and mountain climbing and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
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• If Adam and Eve were Cajuns they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble
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• We celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages…Metamucil and Ensure.
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• You know you are getting old when friends with benefits means having someone who can drive at night.
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• Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
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• For those of you that don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversation they are making a male version….it doesn’t listen to anything.
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• I just got a present labeled, From Mom and Dad, and you know full well Dad has no idea what’s inside.
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• Now that I have lived through a plague, I totally understand why Italian renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.
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• Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly…next week…..Turn Signals.

 

• I went out looking for cherries and a microphone holder. Bought a Bing, bought a boom.

 

• What’s the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist? The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.

• LET'S DO OUR PART TO ELIMINATE IDENTITY THEFT.  If you forward this, PLEASE REMOVE my e-mail  address and all email addresses before you forward, and use BCC when sending to several people at once.   Thank  you.

 

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